


The wolf and his human

by yogini



Series: The Babysitter Chronicles [15]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Babysitter!Stiles, Dad!Derek, Denial of Feelings, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Miscommunication, Pack Mom Melissa McCall, Past Relationship(s), Werewolf Courting, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yogini/pseuds/yogini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Okay, I’ll just spit out, yep, that’s exactly what I’ll do” Stiles rambled. “Just get it out there, totally go for it, just asking away.”<br/>“Any time you’re ready” Derek interrupted his rambling and Stiles huffed at him but it seemed a bit forced.<br/>“All right” Stiles mumbled, chewing on his lips. “Areyoucourtingme?” he then blurted out quickly and took both himself and Derek by surprise.<br/>“What?” Derek asked dazedly. He felt like he’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer, his ears were ringing and his thoughts were fuzzy and unfocused. Did Stiles just ask him…?<br/>“I asked, are you courting me?” </p><p>or</p><p>Stiles heads over to talk to Derek but the outcome is entirely different from what he’d been expecting…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big wolf gone bad

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or any of the characters in the series, I'm just borrowing them from their respective owners to play with a little and I promise to give them back when I'm done. No copyright infringement is intended and I don't make any money from writing fanfiction.

“Derek?” Stiles called out. “Come on, Big Bad, where are you?” He contemplated whistling as people did to their dogs but he didn’t want to risk Derek’s wrath this early in the day.

“You don’t have to shout” Derek said, suddenly appearing behind him. “Werewolf hearing, remember?”

“Are you trying to kill me?” Stiles gasped, one hand pressed to his chest. “ _No_ werewolf hearing, remember?” he grumbled, indicating himself, but Derek only smirked. “Stupid wolf” he muttered as he threw himself down on the couch. Derek rolled his eyes.

“Why are you here Stiles?” he asked. “Laura’s away her that school trip.”

“I, uh, I really came to see you” Stiles said as he nervously rearranged the contents of the fruit bowl. It was totally more logical to put the apples next to the oranges and leave the kiwis to the side, because otherwise the small yucky fuzz from the kiwis would get all over the apples and who would want that? And as for the mangoes…

“Me?” Derek echoed confusedly. “Why?” Stiles continued messing with the fruit until Derek had to forcibly drag the bowl away from him. Stiles, now at loss of what to do with his hands, started biting on his nails instead. Derek sighed and pulled his fingers out of his mouth, if Stiles kept doing that he’d never be able to concentrate.

“Talk” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, the scary eyebrows” Stiles commented and Derek’s scowl deepened. “All right, all right, here goes” he mumbled, took a deep breath and then launched himself into a totally different speech than the one that he’d carefully rehearsed on the way over. “So I had a talk with Scott about lots of things, you know, a conversation brother to brother and I asked him about some werewolf stuff that I needed to figure out and I think that we did, figure them out that is, but I still need more input and I have to talk to one more person because this person is kind of involved in this whole thing, or rather this person is the reason that the whole thing exists and I need to talk to that person and…”

“Breathe!” Derek almost shouted. “God, Stiles, you’re turning blue for fuck’s sake!” He dragged Stiles over to the couch and dumped him unceremoniously on one of the cushions. “How do you even _do_ that?”

“Great lung capacity?” Stiles suggested sheepishly.

“Great idiot capacity, rather” Derek muttered as he sat down too. “To sum it up, and actually get somewhere, you and Scott talked and then you needed to another person some questions as well, and I’m guessing that person is me because of the fact that you’re here?”

“That’s pretty much it” Stiles said.

“Well, ask away then” Derek said, unsure where this conversation was going. Stiles seemed more nervous than he usually was and something about his scent was off but Derek couldn’t figure out what it was, except that he wanted it gone.

“Okay, I’ll just spit out, yep, that’s exactly what I’ll do” Stiles rambled. “Just get it out there, totally go for it, just asking away.”

“Any time you’re ready” Derek interrupted his rambling and Stiles huffed at him but it seemed a bit forced.

“All right” Stiles mumbled, chewing on his lips. “Areyoucourtingme?” he then blurted out quickly and took both himself and Derek by surprise.

“What?” Derek asked dazedly. He felt like he’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer, his ears were ringing and his thoughts were fuzzy and unfocused. Did Stiles just ask him…?

“I asked, are you courting me?” Stiles repeated. “And to think that you’re the one supposed to have werewolf hearing, really Derek, I would’ve thought that…” He nervously launched himself into yet another nervous harangue when Derek didn’t say anything and gestured wildly while talking. “I mean, to think that you’d…”

“Stiles!” Derek interrupted sounding panicked. “I’m not courting you.”

“Because I just… What?” Stiles looked up, his mouth hanging wide open. Derek wore a similar expression. “You’re not? But all the things you did and the gift you gave me at Christmas and I get to take care of Laura… and…” His voice trailed away and he looked at the floor, dejected. “I should go” he whispered hoarsely, looking mortified, and before Derek had the time to react Stiles was out the door and long gone, the sound of his Jeep rumbling in the distance.

::

Pack news always travelled fast. Derek hadn’t even begun to collect his own thoughts when his phone started ringing. And ringing. And ringing and ringing until he couldn’t take it anymore and smashed it against the wall with a loud roar. Then he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, the walls seemed to be closing in on him and his skin itched uncomfortably. He desperately tore at his clothes as he shifted and then ran towards the forest. He was gone for hours.

 

When he got back to his apartment, tired and covered in sweat and mud, Scott was waiting for him. He paced back and forth like a caged animal and he didn’t look happy at all.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he growled. Derek tiredly ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone else than himself right now. Besides, he really had no idea how to answer the question anyway.

“I don’t know, all right? Just leave me the fuck alone, Scott.” A split-second later he was slammed up against the wall with Scott’s forearm across his throat.

“I said, what the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” Scott snarled through his fangs and Derek felt his own canines drop in response. He roared as he threw Scott away from him and both of them circled around the room, eyes blazing and claws ready to slash and tear. The shrill ringtone from Scott’s phone luckily cut through the tension in the room and snapped both of them back to reality.

“Yeah?” Scott snapped as he whipped out his phone and answered it. He immediately paled. “Oh, shit! Yeah, I’m on my way.” Derek’s head snapped up. He’d only heard part of the conversation since Allison was panicking on the other end of the line but there was no mistaking what had happened. Stiles was in hospital. Because of him.


	2. Bad wolf gone sad

The car ride to the hospital was one of the most uncomfortable that Derek had ever endured. Panic, guilt and self-loathing swirled through his body and he felt like he was going to be sick. And beside him Scott kept throwing him reproachful glares.

“Look, I just panicked, okay?” Derek snapped out.

“No” Scott said unimpressed. “Not okay.” He looked more pissed off than Derek had ever seen him before. “Stiles called me from the car and he sounded _devastated_. How could you say that to him?”

“I’m sorry” Derek tried but it sounded hollow even to his own ears and Scott snorted.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to” he snapped. Derek gritted his teeth and looked out of the window. He had no idea how to fix this.

**::**

Derek hit his head repeatedly against the wall behind him. It had been hours since they arrived at the emergency room and Stiles still refused to see him. Not that Derek could really blame him for that but it had been very frustrating for Derek to see the whole pack parade into Stiles’ room right before his nose and leave him alone outside. He’d listened in when the doctor had explained Stiles’ condition and he was relieved to hear that he’d escaped from the accident with only minor injuries. His injured wrist was sore and swollen but fortunately it wasn’t broken, only badly sprained, and the cuts and bruises were superficial and would heal given time. Stiles wasn’t in a terrible pain either, given that he had access both to pain killers and a whole pack that practically competed with each other to draw out his pain but Derek still thrummed with the need to see him, to care for him. He was stopped, however, by a fiercely protective Lydia that had planted herself firmly on the threshold.

“Don’t even think about it” she’d hissed at him and Derek had slunk back to his seat with his tail between his legs, leaving him alone with his thoughts again. They didn’t make a very pleasurable company.

 

He could really understand how hurt Stiles must feel and he really had every reason to. Scott had given him a brief summary of their conversation and as Derek considered this he could easily see how Stiles had interpreted his behaviour. He’d probably researched this as he did with everything else werewolf related and Derek couldn’t deny that he’d done all the things that were part of a formal courting process. Only, he hadn’t really thought about it that way. After all his disastrous past relationships he’d more or less accepted the fact that he’d probably have to spend the rest of his life with his daughter and his pack as his closest family. The thought of ever falling in love again had seemed so foreign to him that he didn’t even consider that this could happen with Stiles, and at first he’d just thought of it as a crush. A bit of a fantasy for lonely nights and some man candy to rest his eyes upon during the day.

 

But then it had started to get more serious and that’s when things started to get out of hand. Derek found himself relying more and more on Stiles to help him take care of Laura and he would find any excuse to include or invite Stiles in his and Laura’s plans. He found himself falling more and more for Stiles, feeling equally scared and ecstatic, as the time went on. After a while he found that he couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted to. The urge to make sure that Stiles was safe and happy and provided for was getting stronger and stronger at last it had started to reach the same level of protectiveness that he felt for his daughter. Every time that Derek did something for Stiles or saw him together with his daughter it made him feel such a deep satisfaction that he couldn’t resist doing it again and again. Derek was in way over his head and he had no idea how to get out, nor did he want to. He’d made peace with the thought of having Stiles as his mate, or so he thought anyway, when Stiles figured out what was going on and called him out on his actions. But when the push finally came to shove his human side overrode the wolf and he panicked. He’d acted as if he didn’t want this at all and he could only imagine how much that must have hurt Stiles.

 

It would have been so easy to confirm that yes, he had in fact been courting him and that he wanted a relationship and the words were already on the tip of his tongue but suddenly he’d blurted out something completely else. He’d thought about Paige, and Jennifer, and Kate and how all his relationships had ended disastrously, without daring to hope that this time it would be different. He’d thought about Laura but he knew that it was just an excuse since Stiles loved his daughter and would never do anything to hurt her. He’d even tried to tell himself that Stiles was better off without him and that he was doing the other man a favour by pushing him away, so that Derek wouldn’t hurt him as he imagined that he’d inevitably do at some point if they started a relationship together. He’d thought that by ending things sooner rather than later he’d spare Stiles the pain but instead he’d only made things worse. All of this had run through his head and led to the split-second decision that had made him reject his mate.

 

It was easy to understand it all now, as events seen in retrospect usually are, and he was painfully aware of the pain that he’d caused. Derek didn’t know what was worse, to feel the pack’s obvious reproach for what he’d done or to be caught in the maelstrom of guilt, remorse and sadness that swirled through his own body. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Stiles and never let go but the other man would never let him do that now and he felt like a failure for not recognizing the situation sooner. The jealousy he felt when someone else was near his mate that made him step in between them, how content his wolf had been when he saw his pup and mate sleeping peacefully together and how that made him arrange for it to happen more often and how he’d enjoyed spending the full moon with Stiles and couldn’t wait to invite him again, all of these things were clear indicators that he should have identified and used to make a conscious decision to court Stiles instead of just following his instincts and then ruining everything. He’d built up to this, with his behaviour and his actions and that made him feel so much worse about himself.

 

And because of what he’d done Stiles had gotten into the car feeling miserable and tried to go home quickly despite the fact that he was in no way fit to drive and, going too fast on the rain-washed road, he’d swerved off the road and right into a tree. It was all his fault and now Stiles wouldn’t even talk to him.


	3. Sad wolf gone mad

“Hey.” Isaac sat down beside Derek and leaned back against the wall. “How’s it going?” Derek only grunted in response, still staring into space. “Stiles is doing much better today” Isaac continued his one-sided conversation. “He’ll go back to living at his own place. They say it’s because his arm is so much better but personally I think the Sheriff can’t handle any more tofu and broccoli for dinner.” If he’d hoped to improve Derek’s mood by joking he’d have to try harder. The corners of Derek’s mouth stayed very much downturned and if Isaac hadn’t feared for his vital organs he’d have pointed out Derek’s striking resemblance with Grumpy cat. As it was, he really appreciated having all his organs intact and functioning so he refrained from the comment. But nothing stopped him from thinking it.

 

They sat in silence for a while.

“Did he…?” Derek asked at last, voice filled with hope and it pained Isaac to have to shake his head. Derek looked crushed.

“No, he doesn’t want to see you” Isaac said quietly and Derek visibly tried to collect himself.

“It’s not like I can blame him” he stated bitterly. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s all My. Fucking. Fault!” he roared. Before he even had the time to think about it he’d shifted and was running wildly, away from anything and anyone and still not getting away from the one thing that hurt him the most, the dull pain in his chest that echoed what Stiles was feeling. Isaac watched him go and dug out his cell phone from his bag. It was time to call in the cavalry.                       

::

Later that evening and unexpected guest knocked on his door. Already from the living room Derek knew it was Scott and he stopped uncertainly. What could Scott possibly want? He’d barely said two words to Derek since Stiles was released from the hospital.

“Open up, or I’ll just kick the door in” Scott sounded annoyed and rattled the door handle for emphasis. “You’re coming with me” he announced as soon as Derek had opened and the alpha blinked. Scott gave him a hard glare.

“I still haven’t forgiven you for what you did but I talked to… Anyway, it doesn’t matter, just get going” he ordered and Derek surprised himself with shrugging on a jacket and meekly getting into Scott’s car. It was easier than thinking and making decisions himself anyway. He didn’t pay much attention to where they were going and when the car stopped he was surprised to see that Scott had pulled up outside his mother’s house.

“Go!” Scott nodded towards the house when Derek hesitated. “No one’s going to kill you as soon as you open the door, it’s just my mum that wants to talk to you.” Still confused Derek walked up to the door and was welcomed by Melissa.

“Come on in, Derek, we need to talk, okay?”

::

Three hours later Derek went back home and he felt much better. He still needed to try to make things up to Stiles but at least now it didn’t feel totally impossible as it had before. Talking to Melissa (and crying on her shoulder, although she’d promised to never mention it to anyone) seemed to have helped more than he’d thought because he no longer felt as if he carried the weight of the whole world on his shoulder. He opened the door to his apartment and was greeted with the sight of his sister, more than he’d ever wanted to see actually, as she was mostly naked and engaged in a heavy make out-session with Isaac on his couch.

“Christ!” he muttered as he slammed the door shut and both Isaac and Cora jumped in surprise. “Would you mind getting a room?” he asked sarcastically and Cora raised an eyebrow.

“We had one, until you barged in” she answered, challenging him, but Isaac was already pulling his clothes back on, too embarrassed to look at anyone. She sighed and started getting dressed as well.

“It’s my house” Derek reminded her. “What are you doing here anyway?”  
“Can’t a girl visit her brother just like that?” she said innocently.

“No” Derek answered bluntly. “Why are you here?”

“Isaac called me” she confessed. “Thought you needed your family right now.”

“Why call you then?” Derek deadpanned and Cora flung a cushion at him.

 

Later when Cora had gone out to pick up some food Isaac approached Derek guiltily.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked hesitantly. “Because I only wanted to…” Derek held up a hand to stop him.

“I’m not angry” he assured the beta. “Thank you.”


	4. The Pack’s got your back

Stiles said no. And no and no. No, no, no, absolutely not. He would under no circumstances whatsoever see Derek. The guy was a complete and utter jerk and Stiles never wanted to see him again. Never ever in a million years.

 

Except that he did. He missed Derek terribly and his absence brought more consequences than Stiles had anticipated. He hadn’t realized just how much time that he’d spent with the other man and being away from him brought out an ache that pounded dully in his chest. That, combined with the pain from his injuries kept him awake at night and made him tired and grumpy during the days.

 

Stiles didn’t even understand where things had gone so wrong. He’d replayed their conversation in his mind time after time, analysing every word and facial expression, and he still didn’t get why Derek had reacted like that. He’d talked to Scott, he’d talked to Lydia, he’d even talked to his dad about it and still he hadn’t managed to solve the mystery that was Mr Tall, Dark and Emotionally Constipated, the one and only Derek Hale. How was it possible to want to kiss someone so much and at the same time wanting to hit them straight in the face?

 

Also, he didn’t just miss Derek, he missed Laura too. He missed her so much but he wasn’t sure how to meet with her and avoid her dad at the same time since she wasn’t really old enough to get around the city on her own and he couldn’t drive at the moment. And he wouldn’t risk meeting Derek, not even as briefly as passing him in the door while picking up Laura. He felt like breaking something whenever he even thought of Derek.

 

At first it had been the humiliation of being wrong and feeling rejected that had made him refuse to see Derek, but these feelings had soon dissipated and turned into anger instead, and now it was that anger that made him keep Derek out of his life. Before he was devastated but now he felt livid, and he spent the boring days of his convalescence sitting at home with too little to do and too much time to think. And the question that kept spinning around in his head was: Had Derek been playing with him all along?

::

It took just over a week before the rest of the pack had gotten enough of their evasive manoeuvres, childish sulking and the two of them doing everything to avoid being in the same room together. With Lydia and Cora in charge of the planning it wasn’t long before the whole pack happened to be extremely just when Stiles needed some help around the house and Derek conveniently was the only one who was free to help. Also, with Lydia and Cora in charge of the planning, Stiles and Derek were the only ones that had no idea about this. Stiles thought Erica was coming to help him and Derek thought that Stiles spent the day at his dad’s house. When Derek clambered in through the window, intending to just leave the food that Stiles needed and then be gone as quickly as possible, he was met by two angry amber eyes and a raised baseball bat. He froze momentarily on the windowsill, a bit thrown of his game. He hadn’t been prepared to meet Stiles and suddenly he had no idea what to say. The carefully thought out excuse and explanation was at the tip of his tongue, ready for Stiles as soon as he’d let Derek see him, but now he only opened and closed is mouth without any sound coming out of it.

 

Stiles frowned when he recognized the intruder but at least he lowered the bat. After all he _had_ missed Derek and it was good to see him. Sort of. But that didn’t mean that he intended to go too lightly on the jerk.

“You’re not Erica” he said angrily and Derek resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Talk about stating the obvious.

“No” he grunted, pushing past Stiles into the kitchen. Dammit, why had his brain stopped working altogether?

“Then where is she?” Stiles demanded to know and Derek shrugged his shoulders, dumping the contents of the shopping bag on the counter. Come on now, brain, say something. Preferably something smart.

“Don’t know” Derek answered. Eloquent, very eloquent indeed. Derek decided that he’d just have to leave and come back when he actually wasn’t going to make a fool out of himself. Maybe he could apologize over the phone instead? He would have preferred to do it face to face but after being away from Stiles for so long his wolf went a little stir-crazy and wanted nothing else than to roll around in Stiles’ scent, bury them both under a blanket and not come out until his mate didn’t hurt anymore. Until that urge abated he’d just have to go hide somewhere and not come back until he was capable of forming sentences consisting of more than two words again.

 

He grabbed the empty bag and turned around to leave, only to realize that Stiles was still holding the bat.

“Put that thing down before you hurt yourself!” he barked out and Stiles threw him an evil glare.

“What would you care about that?” he asked icily and slammed the fridge closed. “I think you should leave now, unless you’d like another go at breaking my heart? Rip my throat out maybe? After all, it’s not like you haven’t hurt me before, right?”

“What… Stiles… No” Derek sputtered horrified. “Of course not! I mean, I _do_ care. I don’t want you to get hurt. Ever!”

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it” Stiles snorted bitterly. “Making me believe that I’m your mate and then turn me down, that’s just…”

“Stiles, no!” Derek interrupted. “I didn’t mean that. I just… panicked, I guess.” Stiles barked out an unimpressed laugh.

“Just panicked, huh? Haven’t heard that one before” he said acidly. “Well, just get the hell out of here and don’t…”

“Stiles!” Derek growled, gripping his shoulders and forcing the other man to look him straight in the eyes. “I love you” he said desperately. “I do, you’re my mate and I want you with me, always. But I’ll just end up hurting you and… and I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.” Stiles looked dazed. He’d somewhat lot it after Derek said he loved him and only now was he slowly processing the rest of the conversation.

“Trapped? Wait, what do you mean? With you?” he asked. “And you’re hurting me more like this” he added, only to see Derek wince guiltily. “Okay, on thing at the time” Stiles decided. “So, past relationships” he said and Derek paled. “I know that you’ve had some pretty shitty relationships in the past…”

“No kidding” Derek interrupted.

“… but this is different” Stiles continued as if Derek hadn’t said anything, gesturing between the two of them. “I’m not Paige or Kate and you’re not the same as you were when you dated them Out with the old, in with the new and all that. And seriously, we’re both going to fuck up if we decide to do this, but that doesn’t make it a good enough reason not to try at all, okay?” After that somewhat incoherent speech both of them silently looked at each other, Stiles because he needed to breathe and Derek because he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he had a chance after all, maybe by some miracle Stiles still wanted him. Then he remembered what he just said. He knew that Stiles cared deeply for Laura but it wasn’t the same thing as being prepared to become a full time dad.

“But I have… I have a kid” Derek mumbled and Stiles looked at him like he’d never seen a bigger idiot. Ever.

“Derek” he pointed out, sounding somewhat tired. “I know that. I’ve been puked at and clawed in the arm by your kid. I’ve caught pneumonia going trick-or-treating with her because _someone_ forgot that humans aren’t walking heaters like you lot. I’ve been abducted to make pierogi and threatened with bodily harm if Laura got as much as a splinter in her finger. I’ve sung the kid to sleep, let her cover my entire kitchen in flour and sprinkles and I’ve consoled both her _and_ you when you freaked out over school related issues. After all that, did you really think that I’d run for the hills?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But what Derek?”

“I guess that I just don’t want you to feel obligated, that’s all. I made the decision to adopt Laura, I accepted that responsibility. But you haven’t chosen this.” Derek looked like he was ready to continue but Stiles held up a hand to stop him. He had a few things of his own that he needed to say.

“I’m not going into this blind, Derek, I know exactly what to expect. I know that any relationship with you is going to include Laura as well, and I also know that her happiness is your first priority.” Stiles briefly hesitated before he continued. “But you need to trust me to make my own decisions. You chose to accept that responsibility, I should be free to do the same. As long as Laura and you want me in your life that is.” Stiles closed the distance between them and put his arms around Derek, who suddenly struggled to remember how to breathe because all he could focus on was Stiles’ beautiful, warm eyes looking up at him.

“It doesn’t have to be so difficult” Stiles whispered. “I want you, you want me and we both want what’s best for Laura. Isn’t that all that matters?”


End file.
